What if you were wrong about yourself?
Last week, whilst having dinner with a friend, we started chatting about fitness and sport. I am a keen tennis player and I was telling her how much I enjoyed playing a few times a week. She told me she had had tennis coaching before as she had also been keen to play, but she had lacked coordination and given up because she ‘just wasn’t sporty’.
I always find it interesting when people make such statements about themselves. She clearly believed that she would never be a ‘sporty’ type of person.
It took me back to an NLP day I attended where Dr Richard Bandler (the co-creator of NLP) demonstrated that our limiting beliefs can be changed and when they are, we might just realise we’re capable of far more than we ever thought we were.
On that particular day, Dr Bandler selected a few people who believed they weren’t artistic and worked with them, using hypnosis. He then sat them down with paints, brushes and canvases, telling them to unleash their creativity. I was amazed by the results. These people who had for many years, believed they weren’t artistic, produced some outstanding work. One even found a buyer for his ‘masterpiece’!
As I told my friend about these people, she told me that when she was about 12 or 13, a teacher had written in her school report that she would never be good at sport. But I could tell she was curious, and in her mind she was already asking the question ‘what if it’s not true?’ and wondering what would happen if she changed that belief.
I wonder how many of us have been told that we’re just not artistic, musical, sporty or otherwise? We no doubt listened to what we were told, forming a limiting belief, and never questioning whether the belief was actually true.
So next time you find yourself stating what you think is a true fact about yourself, why not take some time to consider where your belief came from and what might happen if the belief was changed. When you change your beliefs, you might just find they weren’t so true after all.
If you would like to find out more about how I can help you change any limiting beliefs you might have, contact me on 07768 183543 for an initial chat.
24th August 2017
Your flight is now ready for boarding...
How many of us are gripped with fear at the thought of getting on a plane? It is estimated that as many as 40% of people feel some level of anxiety about flying and this figure is thought to be steadily increasing.
Now that holiday season is here, I’ve recently been helping a number of people in this area. I’ve witnessed some fantastic results using a combination of NLP and Hypnosis and people have been surprised at how differently they can feel about flying after just one session.
So how does it work?
Firstly I like to find out exactly what it is about flying that triggers a person’s fear. Whilst some people have had a bad experience on board a plane, maybe with turbulence or an emergency landing, others fear a lack of control; putting their life in other people’s hands. Other issues can include a lack of trust in the pilot, a feeling of claustrophobia in a plane and more recently, a fear of terrorism is becoming an increasingly common concern for people.
There are various techniques I use within a fear of flying session, and quite often I use an NLP technique called the ‘Fast Phobia Cure’. As per the name, it’s fast and people are often amazed at what a difference it makes.
Take Peter for example. He had extremely high levels of anxiety when he thought about flying and relied heavily on alcohol before and during even a short flight. He was due to fly to Barbados the very next day and was considering cancelling his trip. When I asked him to rate his fear on a scale of 1 – 10 (where 10 is the worst), he told me it was at least an 11. During the session I introduced him to various techniques to help him reach a calm state before running through the Fast Phobia Cure. At the end of the session, I asked him to re-rate his fear on the same scale to which he replied ‘It just doesn’t feel the same anymore – I can’t get myself worked up about it at all’. Peter left the session a little bemused, wondering how something so simple could have such a profound effect and questioned whether his new feelings about flying were actually going to last. However, the following evening, I received a message from him saying he had arrived safely AND sober in Barbados, adding that he was even looking forward to the flight home!
So if you have concerns about flying or even avoid flying because you are afraid for whatever reason, please consider a session of NLP. You may just be amazed by the results too.
27th July 2017
Coping with Anxiety
Anxiety is a common issue that I help people with.
Whilst we all have feelings of anxiety at some point in our lives, many people are now experiencing high levels of anxiety on a regular basis.
Anxiety disorders are becoming increasingly common in our fast-paced world. People are suffering as more and more responsibilities and demands are placed upon them and it is estimated that 13% of the population are suffering from an anxiety disorder at any one time.
So what is Anxiety?
The Oxford Dictionary defines anxiety as being a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.
It is often referred to as the ‘flight or fight’ response state, putting our bodies into a constant state of high alert. In this state, adrenalin is quickly pumped through the body, enabling it to cope with whatever ‘danger’ lies ahead. This can serve us well in situations where we face something difficult or dangerous. However, problems can arise when this response is generated when no real danger is present. Imagined danger can be the result of overthinking and constantly focusing on what can go wrong until we become overwhelmed with anxious feelings. This in turn can have a negative impact on our physical bodies. Our immune systems can become weakened, leaving us more vulnerable to viral infections.
What can help?
Hypnotherapy and NLP can be extremely effective in helping to alleviate the symptoms quickly. I like to teach people techniques they can use on an ongoing basis so they are able to cope with anxiety in the long term. However, here are some simple steps you can take to help yourself:-
Sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Place a hand on your heart area and breathe in to the count of 6, pause, and breathe out for 6, slowly and deeply. Repeat this several times until you can sense a feeling of calm in your body.
Many people have a constant chatter in their heads about everything that can possibly go wrong in the future. Focus your mind on the here and now, switching your mind away from your worries and fears.
Exercise has an uplifting effect on our mood, it tires our muscles, preventing anxiety symptoms and it burns the stress hormone that may trigger anxiety. You don’t need to engage in strenuous exercise, even a 15 minute walk outside can help to lift your mood.
Reduce Your Use of Stimulants
Symptoms can be worsened by use of stimulants as these substances actually speed up the nervous system. Caffeine is one of the most commonly used stimulants and can be found in coffee, energy drinks, tea, fizzy drinks and chocolate. In addition, reduce your intake of alcohol as this too is a stimulant.
Give Yourself a Break
One of my favourite questions I ask a client is ‘how do you relax?’. This is often met with a blank face. Make sure you give yourself time to really relax whether this is a soak in the bath, closing your eyes and listening to your favourite music or treating yourself to a relaxing massage.
I like to teach my clients self-hypnosis. However, there are many free self-hypnosis resources available (for example on You Tube) that can help you to switch off and achieve a deep state of relaxation. Plug in, put on your headphones and relax.
Perhaps the worst thing about anxiety is that when it is not managed, it has a tendency to get worse and worse. A sufferer can become anxious about more and more things until anxiety becomes ‘normal’ to them. If you suffer with anxiety, I would urge you to seek professional help as soon as possible.
4th April 2017
Hypnotherapy - Myths & Misconceptions
I recently went to a friend’s wedding where a lot of us guests didn’t know each other. After the formal introductions were made, inevitably the question ‘So what do you do?’ was asked. I always quite enjoy being asked what I do as I like to see people’s reactions when I tell them ‘I’m a Hypnotherapist’.
I find that either I am asked ‘Oh, can you help me?’ followed by a potted history of whatever issue a person has, or someone immediately recoils with fear in their eyes as if I had announced I was a serial murderer!
On this particular day, it was the latter response that I was met with when I was chatting to one lady. She went on to say that even though she had heard how effective it could be, it was the fear of the unknown, of being out of control and being made to do something she didn’t want to do that frightened her.
So I thought I would dispel some common myths and misconceptions about hypnotherapy:-
Hypnotherapy = Mind Control
A person undergoing hypnosis is participating by choice and is fully in control of themselves. They have the ability to take themselves out of the hypnotic state if they choose to by simply opening their eyes. A Hypnotherapist cannot make someone do anything that goes against their core values.
A Hypnotherapist will make me do silly things
We’re all aware of the Stage Hypnotist who makes his subjects cluck like chickens but the fact is a Hypnotherapist cannot make you do anything against your will.
Stage Hypnotists will invite volunteers from the audience to get up on stage but they are ‘willing participants’ who understand the nature of such shows and know that they will be entertaining the audience by doing amusing things.
I might never wake up
Contrary to popular belief, you are not unconscious! Hypnosis is a calm and relaxed state in which you can hear everything that is being said. Sometimes a person can be a little reluctant to leave this pleasant state and return to full alertness. However, with a little encouragement, they will open their eyes and ‘return to the room’.
I might reveal my darkest secrets
You can lie under hypnosis just as easily as in the waking state. In fact, as hypnosis gives you greater access to unconscious resources, you may even be able to tell more creative lies when in trance. But, you are in complete control of what you chose to reveal or conceal.
I can’t be hypnotised
Although some researchers claim that some people are not able to be hypnotised, everyone has the ability to be hypnotised because it’s a natural, normal state that each of us enter at least twice each day – upon awakening and falling asleep. Also, whenever we are driving and we reach our destination without any conscious memory of the journey, we are in a hypnotic state.
I hope this helps to remove some of the fear and mystery surrounding hypnotherapy but I’m always happy to answer people’s questions and to offer further reassurance as to the safety and effectiveness of the treatment.
And as for the lady with whom I was chatting, once I had explained more about what hypnotherapy is and isn’t, she booked in for a session…
26th March 2017